When we flatulate, we can pray
Stay with me on this one guys..
I love getting emails from people because it makes posts like this possible.
When it comes to learning languages on this blog, you know I have been more than open regarding my own linguistic mishaps – this show no sign of slowing down as I attempt now a third language to further my masochistic life journey with languages.
Thanks to Italian teacher Roberta who was nice enough to share some of the most common mistakes that her students make—we have another list of “interesting” Italian word-play that are super easy to confuse. You can inadvertently tell someone you want a message instead of a message and everything seems to mean sex/male genitalia (or female ones for that matter).
Enjoy Roberta’s own words below…
You know that Italian can pose many traps and embarrassing risks: blending or mixing up letters can have potentially disastrous consequences. FIGS!
As an Italian teacher one of my responsibilities is, of course, to correct (without laughs) the most enjoyable and funniest mistakes than Anglophones often do when they try to learn my difficult language!! Today I want to share some of them with you.
The following list is based on real facts-questions-sentences.. Have Fun!
-“scopare” can mean both “to sweep” and the vulgar word for having sex. Pay attention on the context when you say: ho bisogno (I need to) di scopare!; also don’t confuse “scopare” with “scappare”, to “escape”;
-“penne/pene/penna/pane” -penne is the most people’s favorite “pasta”, pene refers to male “genitals”, penna is “pen” and pane is “bread”: make sure you know the difference when you are talking with an Italian man or waiter because “vorrei un po’ di pene” means “I would like a little bit of penis”..(maybe that is served in your country not in mine!:)
-“anni” and “ani” -the fist one means years, the second means anus, don’t forget it especially when you write a letter to your lover;
– “piacere” and “mi piace”: don’t confuse “nice to meet you” with “I like you or you are pleasing to me”, what a nice introduction!
-“quando scorregiarci, possiamo pregare” When we flatulate, we can pray”? or is it better “When we are discouraged “scoraggiati”, we can pray?”
-“message” is “messaggio”, “massage” is “massaggio”, so “ho ricevuto un massaggio da Paolo” is “I received a massage from Paolo”;
-“oggi ho mal di tetta” means “today I have a tit-ache”, not head-ache, testa is head!
-if you say “gli americani usano molti preservativi” you are saying that “Americans use a lot of condoms”, not prevervatives ,”conservanti” in Italian;
-at the supermarket it’s really important to remember the difference between “tocca a me, per favore” it’s my turn and “toccami, per favore” that is “touch me, please”!
-foglio-figlio –“vorrei un figlio” is “I would like a child”, not a paper… ,one is easier than the other!;
-un albergo “lussurioso” insted of “lussuoso” -if you ask for a lussurioso hotel it means that you want a “lustful hotel”, not a “luxury one”…. your travel agent will have a strange reaction..
-“glande” is different from “grande”, the first one is “glans”, the second one is “big”; (if you don’t remember the meaning of glans take a look, but not in your computer at work!).
-“non mi piace la polluzione” is not “I don’t like pollution”.. you are saying that “you don’t like nocturnal emission”;
-“Il giorno del Ringraziamento mangiamo la Turchia” means “the day of the Thanksgiving we eat Turkey (the nation)”: “tacchino” is the Italian word for the animal;
-“succo di pompino-succo di pompelmo”: it’s true that succo is juice but “pompino” is what Monica Lewinsky gave to Bill in the Oval office”, “grapefruit” is “pompelmo”;
-with this one I have to admit that I laughed: if you say “ho incontrato i genitali di Paolo” you are telling me that you met Paolo’s genitals not his parents, “genitori”;
-“riposata-risposata”: “mi sono riposata” is “ I rested” but “mi sono risposata” is “I remarried”;
-“cane-carne”..you don’t want to eat a dog (cane), you love meat (carne)!
Last but not least…
-“mi servirebbe un pisellino” mean “I would need a little penis”! “Pisolino” is the right word for nap!
If any of you have any stories to share on these kinds of mistakes, please comment below, I’d love to hear them!
Roberta Zarantonello is an Italian teacher for foreigners (experienced and qualified). In particular she creates personalized courses or conversation lessons for people that are into discovering Italian culture, food, art, architecture, life style – but are too often bored by standard grammar lessons held in a classroom. She provides a different opportunity to learn Italian, because as she said “I realized that learning Italian where it’s really spoken (in a bar, market or in an informal ambience) is much more motivating, inspiring and fun and you can understand how Italians speak, gesticulate, eat, drink…..”
Email Roberta to start your own language learning journey to avoid the above messy mishaps and have fun while learning [email protected]. Grazie ancora Roberta!